"Just" Giving
Ruth 3: 1-5, 4: 13-17; Mark 12: 38-44
November 12, 2006

There is so much noise in the temple, no one would hear the sound of my two coins hitting the bottom of the temple treasury. What with the scribes walking around, talking amongst the worshipers, the money changers just beyond where the treasury stands…my two coins would never be heard by any of the others. But I know my God has ears to hear and eyes to see….

I see. I see myself joy-filled at the sound of these two coins adding to the treasury. In so much of my life it feels like I have little choice, but here I have a choice. I am free to give…I find such freedom choosing to give. I can look at myself in the mirror and see my very best self no matter what anyone else sees…whatever anyone else may think of me or my giving. It has nothing to do with the others, really….

It hasn’t been easy. It’s taken me some time…some real life!...to be able to feel this way…to be free enough inside to value my giving and see it as worthy….just as worthy as anyone else’s giving…not a measure of my worth or my income….but a measure of my faith.

I am not so sure I would be so free to give if I had more to give….from what I notice of others, the more you have the more the temptation to keep it….to think of it as yours, to think you earned it and deserve it, to think it can save you one day! I use to think it could save me one day…and look!

Nothing saves….but God! God is saving me. I am here, aren’t I?

By all means I shouldn’t even be alive….a widow, no voice in this place or any other, just a leftover person…left over from what might have been if all had gone as it was suppose to…as I once hoped it would!

You know…how it’s "supposed to go"….

spouse and family,
a home to call my own,
respect in the community
….a sense my future was secure.

That’s the way it was supposed to be…was for a short time. Then…gone…gone in an instant.

The only thing left of all that….is….me

…leftover from the way it was

….but I am not left out.

You know, in some ways I have never been more in….free.

Yes…sometimes I still get scared about what might happen to me next…but I am free because I have nothing to lose.

I no longer have to worry about what others think about me…really, they don’t think about me at all anyways.
And even if they did…they really don’t see me…
they do not see at all! I only have to worry about what I think about myself!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

A cynic might say what difference can two coins make!

It would take more than those two coins to sustain her life…why not give them! Easy for them to say!

But it’s not the coins that matter.
It’s not even what anyone else sees or thinks of me that matters.

…I don’t know who I am sadder for

…those that strut around or those who sulk around
….both passing judgment, both stuck where they are.

Some think too much of themselves…some don’t think enough of themselves. Both miss the mark.

They don’t even see what they are doing to themselves…and I am sad for them. God doesn’t want any of us to feel stuck in the lives we have…there is a way out…a way through.

God invites us to grasp what is right and do it. God has made us able to choose in ways other than the world chooses

….and God trusts us to do it

…patiently waiting for us to do it…to get free!

Sometimes I think God trusts me more than I trust myself!

God trusts me…and I have the choice to trust God….or not!

The choice is mine.
When I cannot find that trust, know how to trust to myself….all I need do is remember the holy teaching….the one this Jesus has shared

….to do unto others what you would have them do unto you ....to give as I would have others give….whether it is with 2 coins or a 1000! Money or time. Talents or prayers.

I give now all I have someone who has even less than I do…they can breathe and hold up their heads
….can be assured there is enough given to God’s work

…I give for us….and heaven forbid there would be a time when I am not able to give at all

.…perhaps that one I now help will help me and give me the assurance enough is given. I know God works through what I don’t have as well as what I do have!

My two coins…can do more good to support the life of this temple than they ever could make a difference in my own life. Of this I am sure.

I know God is at work here….much to do, God!

I may be poor…a widow…but I’m not stupid or unimportant…what I do matters. My choices make as much noise as the next person’s!

I do make a difference in the big picture…one of my two coins might just be the one that makes a something happen!

We can do so much more together than any of us could do on our own. My two coins may not seem important one at a time….but they do make a difference….to me. I am happy to give each one!You see, I don’t give to the temple…I give to God.

I don’t feel obligated. I don’t expect anything from "them" in return….not even to be noticed.

I’m not afraid to be generous…actually I’m afraid of being too frugal. I know I am in good hands…the hands of the Lord!

After all, when all else fails, all we have left is our faith.

And when we are left with only our faith,
sometimes it’s only then that we really know
what we’ve had all along….if we had only noticed!

The scribes seem to have it all as they walk and strut around. But I feel sorry for them…trapped in their own pretensions and expectations…in the expectations of others.

I live in a wonderful freedom.
I am growing to trust myself because I am growing to trust God in ways I never could have imagined when my husband was alive and everything seemed mine for the having.

You see…
I didn’t create this situation I am in…but I create what happens to me next!

I have a role to play in how my now lives.

Will I let these hard times rob me of my dignity and keep me from doing the things that are right….just?

There is no such thing as just giving…just giving what you can.
All we give points to what is "just" or not!

What we really believe in shows in the choices we make.

…our choices matter.

Two coins. Is it enough? It is everything. My coins fall into the plate as I fall into grace.